NICU Journey

As most know, Ethan is a NICU baby. He spent 20 days in the NICU due to low blood sugar and fluid in his lungs from being a C-section baby.

If someone had told me while he was in there that I may have great fear of having another child, I would not have believed them.

Now, 3 years later and almost 5 weeks pregnant, I am terrified. The reason Ethan was in the NICU was nothing short of my fault as his mother. I did not take the Dr. seriously when she cautioned me and warned me time after time again. I did not believe her when I was put on medication or when I had to go in once a week for stress contractions test.

He was not admitted because of an abnormality in his development in the womb, he was admitted because his  mommy could not stop eating Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and ,during the Grammy's in 2008, 13 chocolate chip cookies from McDonalds.

Because of the above, I have for a long time been very afraid to have another child. It was my first failure as a mother, trust me, has not been the last. Cause we all know I am far from perfect and have my fuse is short. :) It wasn't because I wanted to wait until we are more financially stable or have a house, those were excuses. It was fear of being in the NICU again. As much as that journey brought me closer to the Lord- it is NOT something I want to experience again. WHAT. SO. EVER.

Saturday when we visited my momma while Matt and Matt cleared out some hunting land, I checked my sugar and it was high. Very high. As soon as I saw the number, fear and panic set in. This let me know this time around I could not waste any time getting back on the diabetic diet. Obviously, with the high number, I have some issues I did not know about before becoming pregnant.

Beginning yesterday, I have begun to write down everything I eat and it's carb content. I have restricted myself to the following:

Breakfast- 30g carb (stay away from cold cereal, milk and fruit in the morning)

Lunch- 45g carb

Snack-15-30 carb

Dinner- 45-60g carb

Snack- 15-30g carb

Good thing is, I love cow, beef and pig. My love of pig is one the top 3 reasons I can never be Muslim. That and ya know, I believe in a risen savior. :)

So, if you read this, please pray that I can follow this plan for 9 months. I have being overweight (to put it nicely) and history of gestational diabetes stacking against me.

As we get closer to the weeks I take the glucose test, I will ask for extra prayer then.

My favorite picture of Ethan in the NICU. He appears to be smiling but I think he had gas!