My Dear God Letter

Consider this a glimpse into how I talk with God.

Lord, I am not yet sure what your plan is for me and my family in this latest chapter of our lives. I am unemployed and currently things look bleak. I have had interviews but nothing comes of it, I feel because of my pregnancy. I know I am not inadequate when it comes to the corporate world. Although, with the constant rejection I am starting to feel as if I am right back in high school again. Ya remember how many times I felt rejected then, right? Looking back, glad I was rejected by most.

Do you want me to stay at home with Ethan and our baby? If so, please give myself and Matt a peace about this. Right now, as it stands, we are both terrified about making ends meet and about having to pull Ethan from school. He learns soo much there and loves you sooo much Lord that I don't want to take not only his education but I don't want to take away his learning of you and your love for him. As we watched Passion 2012 a little earlier today he told me he loves you oh so much. I know I can teach him about your love as I do and try to every day but right now I feel I will be oh so inadequate.

I feel sometimes this is your way of making us stop and learn to live life simpler. To make us learn to appreciate what is given and what we have instead of wanting more more and more.

I just need some reassurance from you Lord. I know you will give it in your time and your time alone. In the mean time, could you give me peace? Could you help me to learn to be okay with our situation and know that you will always provide. We may never own our own house but we will always have a roof over our head. We may never have a lifestyle of luxury but we will always have love. Plus, who wants a huge house to clean? I can't stand cleaning this apartment as it is.

Thanks for letting me vent and write out what you already know is in my heart.
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